Just abiding.

You pursue me despite me being me.

We fall short every single day, but You still wake us up and give us a fighting chance every single morning.

May we never lose sight of this.

There's this amazing song by Kingdom Culture Worship that states

"There's no striving, Just abiding."

Last week tested me in ways I wasn’t prepared for.

ABA had trouble with the deaf side of things.

The school had trouble with the autism side of things.

Two different systems and, both are meant to support my son.

Yet, both fell short.

The result?

A frustrated, exhausted mom who just wanted to throw her hands in the air and say:

“God, I can’t do this."

And honestly, I can't.

My first thoughts were that this world isn't suitable for Gabe, and it saddened me to realize that many parents and caregivers share this feeling about those they care for.

It feels like a constant battle.

The fight to advocate.

The fight to get services.

The fight to be understood.

And some weeks, it just feels like too much.

Plus, the news isn't beneficial because without Christ, we might adopt its views on Autism and end up feeling responsible.

It's not even our fault.

Even though sometimes for a brief moment we just might feel like it is.

There is one thing in the midst of this that I do know and hold on to.

This belief is that God still woke me up this morning.

He still gave me breath.

He still gave me strength (even though it feels small!).

He continues to love me.

He continues to pursue me.

Abiding in Christ is not about having it all figured out.

Abiding is about sitting in the presence of the One who does.

It’s choosing to rest, even when everything in you wants to strive.

It’s whispering, “I trust You” when nothing makes sense.

It’s remembering that I’m not the driver here.

I’m just the passenger.

So today, despite everything that is going around me I’m choosing to abide.

I’m letting go of the pressure to fix everything right this second.

I’m choosing to trust that even in the chaos, God is still writing a Good story.

A Miraculous story!

I'm reminding myself, and perhaps you should as well...

Remind yourself today that it’s okay to pause, breathe, and hand it all back to Him.

Because when we do, we might just find that the peace we’ve been chasing has been right there all along.